how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
