we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
