she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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