So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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