Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
