But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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