hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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