you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
