Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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