did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
