I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
