I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
