I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Randomize
