Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
