it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
nutella sex= disaster
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
