I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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