Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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