im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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