Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
