I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
