bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize