What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
