i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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