I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
