we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
