Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
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