There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
