OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Slut skills are useful in every country.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
