If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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