There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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