No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
