omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Randomize
