Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
