I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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