He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
