I'm eating all of the evidence.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
