it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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