Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
