All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize