Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
