I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
