Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
