I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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