Can Purell be used as lube?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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