I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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