I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
