R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
