btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize