Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
