You really coming over, don't trick.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
