PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
