I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
