Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
