she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
