And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
