pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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