so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
