just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
